When People Suck: What to Do and How to Do It

God has been teaching me a lot over the past couple of years. People suck sometimes. This may not sound like a good Christian thing to say, but it’s true. People can hurt us and betray us and do all kinds of dirty, nasty things that make us feel inadequate and angry. It happens to everyone regardless of race, gender, or background. And what’s worse, they may not even know they did anything to hurt you - or they could be totally aware and just not care. It’s completely inexcusable, right?

As the wise Jedi Master Yoda pointed out in the famous movie The Phantom Menace, anger leads to hatred and suffering of the worst kinds. The Bible speaks a lot on these topics and how they can affect us in our walk through life.

We hear sermons all the time about forgiveness and verses like Matthew 6:14-15 which says “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” or Mark 11:25-26 which tells us “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

It’s good to know that these things are expected of us, but that doesn’t make it any easier. But here’s the thing: it’s not supposed to be. Everytime we hold a grudge, we’re not hurting the person we’re angry with, we’re hurting ourselves and grieving the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:26-27, 30). Not only that, but we’re meant to use Jesus Christ as our example for how to live our lives (1 Peter 2:21-25) and He was the ultimate example of forgiveness.

You see, while we may see something someone has done to us as inexcusable, put yourself in the shoes of Jesus. All throughout the Bible, we find evidence that God in His holiness cannot abide in the presence of sin. Sin is so inexcusable to God that He cannot allow it into His holy heaven with Him (which is another topic for another time). Despite all of that, He sent Himself down in the form of a baby to live among us, die for us, and forgive us. Can you put yourself in those shoes and see yourself doing that for the person you fantasize about getting revenge on?

God didn’t have to do any of that. He could’ve left us all to suffer. He could’ve left us to our own devices and then damned us all to hell. He could’ve wiped the whole world out in the flood, rather than sparing Noah and his family. He could’ve made humanity wait until Christ’s coming for redemption rather than giving the Israelites a means of forgiveness. He could’ve done literally anything, but instead, He chose to save us and give us a path to freedom.

God forgave the inexcusable in us when He chose to grant us faith by which to be saved. We need to forgive those around us so that we can feel the freedom that God truly desires for us. We can’t be truly free if we’re being held hostage by our own grudges. When God looked at humanity, all He saw was the sin and depravity that we brought on ourselves in the Fall. Instead of wiping His hands clean of the whole ordeal, He came up with a way for us to be cleaned. As Christ was hanging on that cross, He took on all of our sin and all of our filth so that we could be clothed in His righteousness. It was the one moment in all of eternity past, present, and future that the Trinity (Father, Spirit, and Son) were separated. An unfathomable history of perfect peace, harmony, and unadulterated unity interrupted for each of us. Now, once we are shrouded in the righteousness and glory of Jesus Christ, we are one with Him in the eyes of the Father.

All of that is fine and dandy, but you may feel that I’ve gotten off point. “So, Jesus did something really awesome when He died for our sins,” you may be saying, “but I’m not Jesus, so what does this have to do with the grudge I’ve got against *insert name here*?” Well, that’s the best part of this whole thing. We’re called to forgive, we’re called to follow Christ’s example, we’re called to recognize the sheer impact of Jesus’s sacrifice for us. But here’s the good news: it’s impossible. How is that good news, you ask? Because it’s only impossible if we’re doing it on our own and Christ has sent us a Helper in the Holy Ghost of God, and as we’ve seen God is pretty experienced in the forgiveness department.

So, in the end, that old cliche “Let go and let God” isn’t as cheesy as you may think it is. I’m sure as you’ve been reading through this, there’s been at least one person who keeps popping into your mind who has you thinking, “God, I could never forgive this person. They did *insert offense here*.” Take a moment to think about that person. Instead of that person though, picture your own face. Picture you doing whatever they did to you to God. It’s hard and it disgusts you, I know, but when it comes down to it, God doesn’t see sins differently. God doesn’t measure sin on some sort of badness scale where lies are a 1 and murder is a 10, He simply sees it as sin. So, what you’re picturing is more accurate than you’d like to admit. Next, thank God for forgiving you, because as long as you’ve received it, He has -- once and for all. Ask Him to help you to forgive whatever person or people keep popping into your mind as you read this. After all, He commands us in Matthew 5:44 to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Also check out what He says in response to questions about forgiving others: Matthew 18:22.)

The person He’s helping you to forgive people who may never change. They may never change their ways. But that’s not what this is about. This is about your relationship with God. Because I can tell you that once that forgiveness is given, not only will you feel lighter and less burdened, but your relationship with God will reach a whole new level. I’m working on putting this into practice for myself.. But I think that if God’s people can start putting more action to radical, unconditional forgiveness the world might start seeing more of Christ in His people.