In God's Eyes

I know it’s been a long long while since the last time I wrote; things have gotten really hectic between my college classes and my fundraising for my next trip to Russia.  I’ve been meaning to write for a while now, but something recently has really been niggling me to write and last night I had an experience that I knew God was telling me, “This, this is what you need to write in your blog.” So, since - as we learned from the story of Jonah - saying no to God is never really a good idea, that’s what I’m going to do here.  I won’t use any names for the sake of privacy and all those such things, but I think that, regardless of who you are or where you come from or your gender, this is a good thing to read, ponder, and even discuss as I am always open to discussion over my posts, writings, and ideas.  It may seem scattered at first, but I promise it all comes together at the end.

Last night, I went with a friend of mine to a Women’s Self Defense class and I had a really interesting experience.  I really enjoyed the class and can’t wait to go to another.  What really struck me about this class, though, is how empowered I felt in who I am.  It was one of the first times in my life that I’d ever felt that way and it hit me how many times in the past I could’ve used these skills.  I made an offhanded comment to my friend about how I wish I’d known these things in high school when I’d been dating a boy who did not treat me well.

I completely forgot about making that comment almost as soon as I had.  There was another woman at the class who had told her story of having been attacked twice and she started crying at one point telling her story and said, “The things you wish you knew when you were fifteen.”  That hit both me and my friend right in the heart.

On the way home, my friend and I were discussing this woman’s story and how evident it was in her fighting that it was more real for her than everyone else.  We got on the topic of missions.  I told the story of a boy in a class who had tried telling me that it wasn’t worth going to a place to do missions work if we knew the people would just kill us.  He told me that it made more sense to change the parts of their culture that would make them want to kill us and allow generations of people to die without Christ while we made sure we were safe going to share with them.  I got passionate, almost crying.  Even relating the story to my friend I was almost shouting at her while she was driving.  “How dare he!  How dare he place himself higher than those people!  How dare he say that a few more measly years on his life is more valuable than generations of people going to hell!”

My friend, sweet, kind, and gentle and tough, brutal, and strong as she is, just said quietly, “Yep.”  She then started telling me about her time in Latin America this past year and how much God had revealed to her.  She was telling me about what she’s felt called to and how amazing and right it felt.  We talked about my calling also and how God loves the entire world and needs some people to go and stay in one specific area and some people to go everywhere and send other people everywhere.  She discussed how she could relate to the people who thought they didn’t know enough or weren’t good and clean enough or didn’t have what it takes to be a missionary and do missions trips and missions work or aren’t worthy.  She said, “I love that you’re wanting to go to Russia and open your home and share Jesus. I can’t do that I’m not like that. I’m supposed to be the person that brings other people to your house and let God teach them through you that they can be missionaries and do that missions work because God has made them worthy.”  That touched me and comforted me in knowing that, outside of my husband, I would have a partner in the mission field.

When we arrived back at her dorm room, she looked at me and said, “I want to talk to you about something that you said.”  This took me aback, because she was really serious and most of the night we’d been having sassy, goofy conversations the entire night while we worked on the maneuvers and techniques.  She meant the offhanded comment that I had mentioned earlier.  She told me that me saying that broke her heart because she related to that so much.  We’ve both had similar experiences with relationships to different degrees.  It wasn’t until recently that I’ve begun to realize how verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive and manipulative the guy I was talking about really was.  My friend has been doing self defense for five years.  She looked me in the eye and said, “I know exactly what you’re talking about, because, if it weren’t for starting self-defense, I would have been sixteen and pregnant and have a toddler by now.”

I knew that if it wasn’t for the fact that I had realized that my best friend was the man I was supposed to marry and kicked the other guy to the curb, then I would have been the same.

Why?  Why did she (as a girl who grew up knowing who God was and going to church off and on) and I (who was born on a Friday and have been in church almost every Sunday since) have these experiences?  How come neither one of us knew our own worth as a human being?  How come we both had the mindset of ‘since I’ve sinned once, then it doesn’t matter if I keep doing it because I’m dirty and disgusting anyway’?  And I simply can’t believe that my friend and I are the only ones who have ever experienced these kinds of things.  If there are two of us who just so happen to have met, then I am inclined to believe that there are girls (and guys) all over the church and in the world who have experienced the same things.

I’m inclined to think that the church fails the young people more often than not.  The church puts more emphasis on preventing sin and keeping the young perfect that it oftentimes leaves no room for people to make mistakes.  Churches act as though sin should be hidden and kept away from the light, because if it were to come to light then it reveals that the church is not actually the perfect saviors of the world they like to pretend to be.  What is so often forgotten is that it is not their place to be the saviors of the world, but Christ’s place as the Savior of the world.  They’re never going to be perfect and their work will never be nearly as effective until they openly admit that to the world as a people who strive to be like Christ but recognize that will not happen in this life.

James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another.  If this is a biblical command then why is it so scandalous for people’s sins to come to light within the church and the community?  God is able to restore anything that has happened to us or that we have done.  He can restore our purity.  He can restore our sanity.  He can restore the life that is too often stolen from us by the sins we have committed in our lives.  We all make mistakes, but God does not desire that those mistakes consume us and our lives. Rather, He desires that we accept His forgiveness and tell others what He has done for us and allow His glory to be evident in our lives.

We are so valuable to God, even in our sinful, disgusting filthiness that He died an excruciating death on our behalf, just because He wanted to be our best friend. All we have to do is accept Him.

You are worth it to Jesus Christ.  You are valued by the God who created you.  You have a right to the identity given to you in Christ and no amount of shame, doubt, or sin can ever take that away from you.

Boys, girls deserve respect as human beings created in God’s image.  Don’t hurt them, abuse them, take advantage of them, or objectify them.  They’re not sex toys.

Girls, boys deserve respect as human beings created in God’s image.  Don’t use them, manipulate them, tease them, or tempt them.  They’re not tools.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned--- for until the Law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.
But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many. The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand the judgement arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification. For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.
So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men. For as through the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous. The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death , even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 5:6-21